Running

I began running in June. Feet hitting the pavement, keeping in time with my breathing. Just starting with easy, 3 mile routes. It was a great was to sweat off all the stress of the day, and was something to do while job hunting.

Slowly improving my distance, the furthest I managed is 6.5 miles, with 4.5 miles being my standard run, every other day. I really got into it, and read about other runners, the best technique, the best gear, how I should improve. Jealousy began to set in when I read running blogs, of people completing 10 miles, and considering it 'alright'. I started getting bogged down with numbers, how many minutes I was doing per mile, how far, how fast, how out of breath. These were not the reasons I ran at the start. Now, I realize I am not in competition with those people. If i am in competition, it is only with myself. Whether I do better or worse than an experienced runner on the other side of the world will have absolutely no impact on my time, speed, or how I feel when I run. Why do I run anyway?

Dirt cheap therapy is why.

I run without music. Without a phone. Nothing in my hands and pockets, the only thing I think about is myself. It can be so easy to make small worries into tangled knots which wrap themselves around the brain. I have another million things occupying my mind, like work, family, money. It can be so hard to think logically, or to straighten out what I would really like to do. Mountains are made out of molehills, and it's not until I pull on my trainers and feel the evening air wash over my face do I see sense. I see that maybe things aren't as bad as I did, that there are some problems that aren't even worth thinking about yet.

I thought I should stop running the other day. I have a temporary office job now, that I cycle to and from every day, so I get exercise. I have to leave at 8am, and am not back until 5pm, when I have to make dinner for my family now I'm living at home. Alongside this, I'm starting up an Etsy shop of vintage and handmade clothes, so they need washing, ironing, photographing and storing. I thought maybe I have enough to do, I didn't want to run myself into the ground (pun intended). Day three of no runs, and I miss it. There is a certain freedom felt when on the pavement, it's like being in a bubble. A sweaty bubble, but a bubble nonetheless. Even running on main roads, with cars rushing past, you feel alone, so I'm going to go twice a week. That should straighten out some knots.

Also...running clothes can be pretty cool.